Blinded By Science

Probability Theory
If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of freeway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's greatest literary works in braille.

Bio-Mechanics
Why yawning is contagious: We yawn to equalize the pressure on our eardrums. This pressure change outside our eardrums unbalances other people's eardrum pressures, so they yawn to equalize their pressure.

Symbolic Logic
Asian countries are technologically underdelveloped because thay have no alphabet and, subsequently, cannot use acronyms and abbreviations to communicate at a faster rate.

Perpetual Motion
Deforestation may cause the earth to spin faster. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases as the arms are brought in closer to the body, the cutting of trees may cause our planet to do the same.

Linguistics
The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in antoher. For exapmle, whan a Bostonian 'pahks his cah', the lost 'r's migrate south, causing a Texan to 'warsh his car and invest in 'erl' wells.