Cynical Thoughts

Ads in Bills
Have you ever noticed they put ads in with your bills now? Here's a way to get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write on the bill, "Could you throw this away for me, thank you."

Answering Machine
Did you ever hear those corny positive messages on someone's machine? "Hi, it's a great day, and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is 'share the love', beep".
"Uh, yeah...the is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love."

Morning Differences
Men and women are truly different in the morning. The men wake up aroused. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "how can he want me the way I look in the morning?"
It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near the optic nerve.