Because you can't handle the truth. We live in an odd world these days, and no day goes by without something contradictory happening. Or double standards occurring. The sheer lunacy of it all. Pointed out to you by yours truly. Enter the LoongTao!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006


You know you're an animal lover when...

So, here's two pigeons. One male. One female. The're locking beaks, about to do the nasty. When along comes another male trying to move in on the female. The other male tries to shoo him away twice, to no avail, so he gives up.

Well, something has to be done. Enter the LoongTao. I walk over, and remember, these are downtown pigeons, so they're people-friendly. The invading male is in between the other male and the female. I reach out towards the invader and he starts to move away, then back. I reach out farther. He flies over the other male. One last move, the infamous "hand clap". Just loud enough to scare him and not the couple.

The invader flies away and the other male starts walking over to the female.

Success of the LoongTao, baby. That's what it's all about. In all walks of life.

And no, I didn't stay around to watch the deed.

Even though I normally do.

Gotta go, I hear nature calling....

Soda Jerk Revisited

Ok. I see the point, but I cannot stand corrected. Space Cadet Captain Kirk mentions that the Caffeine-Free Diet Coke has the same space as Diet Coke but a different consumption rate. (uh, yeah, about 3 cans a day.) Touche.

Uh, don't forget the Diet Coke in the door, buddy. That's an additional case. But I heard about the Caffeine-Free, which sucks, by the way, and for good reason nobody, well somebody, drinks it. So to keep the natives from getting restless, the CFDC will drop from 4 sixpacks to 2 six packs and the DC will expand by 2 sixpacks.

Are you happy now. Too many chiefs, not enough injuns. All this from a numbers cruncher. Allocations. Geez. Now get the hell out of my kitchen. Don't you have clients to call?

The Ninja Hitlist: Sprint PCS

Welcome to the debut of the Ninja Hitlist. This is not a list of what's hot, or in. Oh, no no no. Au contraire, mon amie. This is a list that will highlight those that should be put out of their misery due to complications created by their inability to satisfy their customers.

Today's inaugural hit goes out to Sprint PCS.

A year ago, after I started dating someone, it was suggested we invest in a cell phone. Hers had to be replaced, and they had a 2-for-1 offer. It was on her credit and payments went through her. I didn't mind.

Until she grew suspicious of a number regularly called on days when she wasn't in town (due to her other work). So she called the number. Big mistake. First off, it was none of her business. Secondly, she should have asked me first. So she talked to the person who I was calling, and immediately assumed I was having an affair. As it turned out, it wasn't someone I was having an affair with, but a connection, which I won't go into here. I gave up the info to salvage my integrity of not ever chyeating on a loved one. It was a compromise I didn't mind making. It's sacrifices I don't make.

Needless to say, I never used the phone after that. Where is this going? I'm almost there. We don't really date anymore - the split was amicable. So I went to the Sprint store to find out how to split the phones. They said to fill out a Transfer of Liability. Well, just today, I found out from her that they also do a credit check. Not good.

My credit is shot. From the earldays. Old credit cards. Tax liens (see previous post on Me and Taxes). Wage garnishments (from the tax liens). Basically, I live a simple life now. Cash only.

Anyway, they said it isn't much. As low as $250.00. What?!?! They said that was low. I said mine would probably be $1000.00. And get this: it's a 2 year contract. If I back out now, we get hit with a fee.

Never mind the fact that we've had the phone for a year now. And payments are in good standing. Well, er, she's been making the monthly payments. (I pay her when I get around to it. I know, I'm a hypocrite. Who am I to complain about their policies.)

Nonetheless, being stuck in a two-year contract, and not being able to transfer the phone to my name without putting down a hefty deposit to do so earns them a spot on the Ninja Hitlist.